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The news is so full of reports about child mistreatment that you can't help but wonder how safe your child really is. While it's a mistake to become overprotective and make your child fearful, it is important to recognize the actual risks and familiarize yourself with the signs of abuse. More than 2.5 million cases of child abuse and neglect are reported each year. Of these, 35 percent involve physical abuse, 15 percent involve sexual abuse, and 50 percent involve neglect.
Child abuse is common. studies show that one in four girls and one in eight boys will be sexually abused before tehy are eighteen years old. About one in twenty children are physically abused each year. Sexual abuse includes inappropriate touching of a child's breasts or genitals. Physical abuse involves injuring a child's body by burning them, beating them, or breaking their bones. Because a bruise indicates that body tissue has been damaged or blood vessels have broken, any discipline method that leaves bruises is not appropriate.
Child neglect can include physical neglect (withholding food, clothing, shelter, or other physical necessities), emotional neglect (withholding love, comfort, or affection), or medical neglect (withholding needed medical care).
Most child abuse occurs within the family, often by parents or relatives who themselves were abused as children. Neglect and mistreatment of children is also more common in families living in poverty, and among parents who are teenagers or are drug or alcohol abusers. While there has been a recent increase in child abuse outside the home, it is stil true that children are most often abused by a caretaker or someone they know, not a stranger.
It's not always easy to recognize when a child has been abused. Children who have been mistreated are often afraid to tell anyone, because they think they will be blamed or that on one will believe them. Parents also tend to overlook symptoms, because they don't want to face the truth. This is a serious mistake. A child who has been abused needs special support and treatment as early as possible. The longer he continues to be abused or is left to deal with the situation on his own, the less likely he is to make a full recovery.
The best way to check for signs of abuse is to be alert to any unexplainable changes in your child's body or behaviour. Don't conduct a formal "examination" unless you have reason for suspicion, as this may make the child fearful, but do look further if you notice any of the following:
In most case, children who are abused or neglected suffer greater emotional than physical damage. A child who is severely mistreated may become depressed or develop suicidal, withdrawn, or violent behavior. As he gets older he may use drugs or alcohol, try to run away, refuse disclipline, or abuse others. As an adult he may develop marital and sexual difficulties, depression or suicidal behavior.
Not all abuse victims have severe reactions. Usually, the younger the child, the longer the abuse continues, and the closer the child's relationship with the abuser, the more serious the emotional damage will be.
If you suspect your child has been abused, get help immediately through your pediatrician or a local child protective agency. Physicians are legally obligated to report all suspected cases of abuse or neglect to state authorities. Your pediatrician also will detect and treat any medical injuries or ailments, recommend a therapist, and provide necessary information to investigators. The doctor may also testify in court if necessary to obtain legal protection for the child or criminal prosecution of a sexual abuse suspect. Criminal prosecution is rarely sought in mild physical abuse cases but is likly in those involving sexual abuse.
Your child will benefit from the services of a qualified mental health professional if he has been abused. You and other members of the family may be advised to seek counseling so that you'll be able to provide the support and comfort of your child needs. If someone in your family is responsible for the abuse, a mental health professional may be able to successfully treat that person as well.
If your child has been abused, you may be the only person who can help him. There is no good reason to delay reporting your suspicions of abuse. Denying the problem will only make the situation worse, allowing the abuse to continue unchecked and decreasing your child's chance for a full recovery.
The major reasons for mistreatment of children within the family are often parental feelings of isolation, stress, and frustration. Parents need support and as much information as possible in order ot raise their children responsibly. They need to be taught how to cope with their own feelings of frustration and anger without venting them on children. They also need the companionship of other adults who will listen and help during times of crisis. Support groups through local community organizations ar often helpful first steps to diminish some of the isolation or frustration they may be feeling.
Personal involvement in your child's activities and supervision is the best way to prevent physical and sexual abuse outside the home. Any school or day-care program you select for a child should allow unrestricted and unannounced parental visits without prearrangement. Parents should be allowed to hlp in teh classroom on a volunteer basis and informed about selection or changes of staff members. Parents should pay careful attention to their child's reports about and reactions to thi experiences at school. Always investigate if your child tells you he's been mistreated or if he is experiencing a sudden unexplained change in behavior. While you don't want to frighten your child, you have to enquire about their safety in a nonthreatening manner. Teach him to keep his distance from strangers, not to wander away from you in unfamiliar territory, to say no when someone asks him to do something against his will, and always to tell you if someone hurts him or makes him feel bad. Emphasize that he will not get in trouble if he tells you about abuse. Emphasize that you need to know this to be able to keep him safe and that he will be okay if he tells you. Instead of teaching him that he's surrounded by danger, teach him that he is strong, capable, and that he can count on you to keep him safe.
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